I don't really like this question. I'm starting to realize that perhaps I should have screened these questions before committing to answer them for 30 days straight.
Ummmm.... someone who made my life hell. I guess I could say my last boyfriend (about a year and a half ago now... can you believe that?), but I don't really like that answer. I have nothing ill to say about him. I think he is a wonderful and good person with one of the kindest hearts of anyone I've known. And I know that he truly loved me. And even though being in the relationship was hell for me (like, straight hell. I mean, it was bad. And I was miserable, though I didn't realize it at the time), I can't really blame it on him. Yes, a big part of the reason that the relationship was hell was because he had some serious issues that he needed to work out. But in reality, I always had my agency - I could have made the decision to leave and let him deal with his crap on his own. But I didn't. I decided to stay. I decided to love him even though deep down I knew it wasn't going to work out. And that was what really made it hell for me. Well, that and worrying about him and watching him struggle with self-loathing and trying to overcome the challenges in his life, sometimes to no avail.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, if my life is hell, it's probably because I've made it that way for myself through bad choices or stubbornness. I've got no one to blame but myself.
Luckily, my life is ANYTHING but hell right now. Instead it's a little piece of happiness and bliss. :-)
1 comment:
haha I'm thinking the exact same thing about these questions. The last fifteen are the kind you look at and think "...really?" I might be replacing them with some of my own. They can be that silly.
It's interesting looking back at past relationships once you're in a healthy place. I've made a lot of the same realizations as far as my relationship with Jake went. I tried so hard to just hand myself over, when that's not how it works at all. I was so unhappy, and I just let it stay that way.
I love the posts where you open up about struggles. They're inspiring. Thank you.
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