Day 3: Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For.

Can I tell you something?

I have a very unhealthy habit of holding onto things that I've done for way longer than I should. When I feel bad or uncomfortable about something, I tend to replay it in my mind, over and over and over and over again until it drives me absolutely bonkers or until I just break down from all the guilt or bad that I feel. Or I stress myself out about the need to be better and feel awful when I don't do it right away. And then I beat myself up about it.

Like I said, it's a nasty habit. It probably stems from all that "perfectionism" I've been telling you about.

BUT - I had a cool experience about a month ago. I got a priesthood blessing right before I had surgery on my sinuses and in it, I was told that God is very pleased with me and the direction of my life right now. The only thing he asks of me is for me to be less critical of myself. Afterward I thought to myself, Self, if that's the only thing God asks of me right now, it must be a pretty big thing. And at the same time, it's kind of cool that that's the only thing he asks of me right now.

So, ever since then, whenever I notice that I'm being really hard on myself (or perhaps having some unrealistic expectations), I just tell myself, Self, don't be so critical of yourself. You're doing the best you can. It's okay if you're not perfect. And because of that, there is nothing that I am currently holding on to that I need to forgive myself for. I am forgiven. It is liberating - and is a huge contributing factor to my overall feeling of sheer happiness lately.

I. Love. It.