Dear Mom,
I just feel like I should apologize to you in advance for never giving you grandchildren. I've given up on men. I really just can't be bothered with it anymore. And because of this, I know I will end up living alone for the rest of my life with my pet Beagle and my plants (puppies are just about the same as children anyways, right?). And here's the bright side, this will leave me plenty of time to advance my education and build a very successful career! Or, maybe I'll just take one of my old roommate's advice and create the first Mormon convent... although now that I think about this, what would a Mormon Nun wear? We could have a great time designing those outfits! And by "we" I mean me, since I'll clearly be the only one pursuing this.
I don't want you to feel sad for me. I'm not sad. I've accepted it. In fact, I'm glad. I'm glad to rid my life of the drama and heartache and frustration that is the male species. I just thought that maybe if I prepped you in advance, you'd be able to accept it too. I guess you're going to have to rely on Andrew for the grandkids (and don't forget about Jane! And Ronnie's kids too!) But that's ok, because he'll probably be married within the next year anyway and then we all know the chillins will quickly follow. See? There's lots to look forward to. You don't need 'em from me. I think this will be great.
I'll just be on my merry way, then. Got lots of brainstorming to do before I figure out what the world's first Mormon Nun should wear!
(Ok... so maybe it's impossible for me to give up COMPLETELY on men because, let's face it, I've been boy-crazy since the day I was born. Just ask Grady Schubert from my Kindergarten class. He'll tell you.)
7 comments:
We are getting a dog???
Raechel saying she'll give up boys is like 'The Situation' saying he'll give up his abs. Just ain't going to happen, and frankly, no one wants it to. I know I don't.
The "we" is you and me. I'm telling you, this could be a terrific idea.
However, the moment you figure out what we'll wear is the moment you'll meet Mr. Right. I'm telling you, I'll be joking with you about this in five years when I'm the only member of the nunnery!
Raechel, you're funny.
Let me know if the nunnery ever gets off the ground. I might try a monastery then...
Mom here. Let's view this objectively. First of all, even if you could create a Mormon Nunnery,,, you would be the first one to break all the rules and sneak out in the middle of the night. So,.,, if it's grandchildren you are worried about,,, then I say go up to some amazingly smart and handsome fellow, and ask him if you can have his baby....sign a contract....do the IV-Fert. thing, and voolah! Grandchild!! Easy. Then you can write a book, make a movie about your experience,,, and By the way,,, is that THE Grady Shurbert commenting on your blog? How in the heck did you guys find each other after all these years? Oh, and just in case there is anyone out there who believes you could give up on boys... HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAA... That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!! hahahhaahhhaha
Hey, we're not ALL bad. On my good days, I'm quite a catch.
I was thinking about you today. Haven't seen you in months. That should change.
Post a Comment