Sorry

One bad decision and I’m stuck
Paying the price for what you thought was best
For you


I’ve wasted so much of my life
In devotion to a lost cause.
Sleepless nights and silent tears
From being emotionally invested
In you
And your happiness


Don’t talk to me about “effort”.
How can you say it’s too hard?
Hard is being loyal to a ghost.
Hard is loving what you could lose
at any given moment.
Hard is being exactly obedient
at all times because you know
that it will all be worth it
someday, somehow.
Hard is never saying
how you really feel,
how bad you’re hurting.
Hard is persevering
When there’s nothing concrete
to hold on to. No reassurance,
No tangible relationship,
Just the love and hope in your heart.
Hard is loving someone so much
That you’d sacrifice
part of your life for them.
You’d be supportive
When there’s no one supporting you.
Hard is being humbled constantly –
Down on your knees begging
for answers. Begging to be able
to say the right things.


So don’t talk to me about “too hard”.
You don’t know what hard is.
All you know is what’s convenient for you.
Don’t tell me lies or pretend to be sorry
Even though you are sorry
And I’m sorry for you
Because you just threw away
The best thing you’ll ever have.