How To Make a Lasting Impression on Your Boss - RaeLo Style

Sometimes I surprise even myself with the amazingly classy, smooth moments I create for myself.

For example, last week at work (around 9:30am), I got out my make-me-breathe-happy pills so I could take them with my food, per doctor's orders. Well, for some reason when I opened my pill bottle, pills decided to jump out... all. over. the. place. In my haste to retrieve them, two rolled onto the floor into the black abyss that is under my cubicle walls.

Now, these are small pills... and they aren't really the kind that you can just let fall on the ground and not take. No. Every pill must be taken. Or else my adrenal glands could just shut down, which would then, of course, lead to my slow, painful, imminent death (or something like that). So when a pill falls, you find it. No matter the cost.

One pill was easy to find, no hassle there. The other was an elusive little thing. After recruiting the dudes that sit to the left and front of me and searching for five minutes under our desks, one dude exclaimed, "Hey, I think I found...yep...I definitely found it!" But alas, he could not reach it.

Where was it you ask? Oh, just in between the cubicle walls of dude to the left's desk and MY BOSS' desk.

So what did I do? Well, naturally, I crawled, on my knees, under my boss' desk (he wasn't in to work yet that morning), head first, and searched as the dude on the other side tried pushing the pill toward me.

Next thing I knew, an ominous shadow had descended upon me, and I heard a muffled and slightly confused, "Um, hi..."

And that was when I realized that my boss had finally come into work. And that he had been most graciously welcomed by my impressive butt poking out from under his desk... probably aimed right at his face, knowing my luck.

Here's what I imagine the scene probably looked like...

I returned his "Hi" with a bounty of loud, slightly awkward, laughs - the kind of laughs you make when something is just too perfectly set up to not laugh heartily at, but that are coupled with a tinge of regret and a sarcastic, "Of course this would happen to me," and made the slow crawl of shame out from under his desk, pill in hand, attempting vainly to explain that I wasn't creeping under his desk, I was just trying to find my drugs...

I'm sure I looked right up there with the pain-killer addicts. The only thing that could have made it better would have been if I had ratted hair, chapped lips, my shaky hands, and wild eyes. Well, the wild eyes I probably did have, let's just be honest.

But regardless, I probably made a lasting impression that day. True job security right there.