Zombies

I'm not exactly sure why there's been such a "zombie craze" the last year or two. Personally, I'm not a huge fan of the walking dead who continuously pursue you until you either succumb to a fatal anxiety attack or blow them to smithereens with some sort of ray gun. Not to mention they're always falling apart in disgusting and obnoxious ways. But, despite my general disdain for the things... they're still around, finding their way into movies and video games and even into my office on Halloween (don't ask).

The only enjoyable encounter with zombies I've ever had was today at work. A coworker instant messaged me this:

"I feel like a zombie right now. I don't know why."

I asked the usual questions. "Are you getting enough sleep?" "Is there enough happiness in your life?" "Are you dead and you didn't know it?" The reply was this:

"brrraaaiiiinnnnssss"

What then followed was one of the greatest streams of Zombie slurs I've ever seen. Please let me share them with you:

Vegetarian Zombie:  ggrrraaaaiiinnnnnssss

Vampire Zombie: VEEEIIIINNNNNSSSS

Injured Runner Zombie: sssppppprrraaaaiiiiinnnnnn  

Plumber Zombie: ddddrraaaaaaiiiiinnnnn

Mormon Missionary Zombie: pprrrooocccllllaaaaaiiiiimmmmm

Mormon Hater Zombie: diissssdddaaaaiiiiinnnnnn 

Punk rock band from AZ zombie: the MMAAAIIIIINNNNEEEEEE 

 

Another Mormon Zombie: aaabbbbsssttttaaaaaiiiinnnnnn 

Psycho Coach Zombie:  trrrrraaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnn

Famine-in-the-land Zombie: rrrrrraaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnn 

Terrorist Zombie: saddam hhhuuuusssseeeeiiiiinnnnnn 

Illusionist Zombie: What the eff David Blllllaaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnneeee  
 

Priesthood Meeting Zombie: susttttaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnnn    

Loud Mouth Zombie:  exxxxccclllaaaaaiiiimmmm 

 

Germ-a-phobe Zombie: sttttttaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnn  

 

Executive Zombie: capital ggaaaaiiiiinnnnnsssssss 

 

Can you tell which ones are mine?  I hope these made you smile as much as they did me!