There's nothing like a friend's wedding reception to make you feel lonely as crap. It's always such a lovely reminder of how I'm not dating anyone-oh yeah and I haven't been for a LONG time. Fun stuff. The last wedding I went to was my best friend's. I caught the bouquet (lucky me! wait...) Ha a lot of good that did me seeing as how seven months later I'm in the exact same position I was in then.
But the lonely feeling isn't the worst part. The worst part for me has always been when the bride dances with her dad. When I was little, that was what my dad and I did. We danced. It was "our thing" and I loved it. But ever since I was 12 there hasn't been any dancing. Actually, there hasn't even been any Dad. So watching the bride dance with her father is always the not-so-subtle reminder that I wont get to do that at my own wedding (if that day ever comes...). And if I do, it will probably be awkward...for everybody. Sometimes it's so hard for me to watch that I actually have to leave the room. Pathetic I know and it seems ridiculous that I let it bother me so much, but I can't help feeling like it didn't have to be this way at all. But it still is. And I'm living with it.
1 comment:
Hi friend. While I can't say I've ever wanted to dance with my Dad, I can relate to the awkwardness that that would bring. When my little brother got married this summer, it was filled with awkwardness with my Dad being there. And surprisingly, none of it came from me this time. But, I digress...I know how it is not having my Dad being around and wanting him to be there and wishing for the good times of days gone by. But like you say, it is what it is. And you deal with it.
(Sorry to hear about what happened to him over Christmas.)What I've come to realize is that you can't control a lot of things, but there are some things you can control. Like dancing with your Dad at your wedding. And by the way, you will get married someday, you're a gem. And who in their right mind passes up a gem when they find it? But, when that day comes, if you want to dance with him, do it. Let the awkwardness be with everyone else. You'll have the memory.
Anyways, that's my two cents.
I'm good. Much better than that day in the break room. Christmas helped, and so did not being a Scrooge...
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