My Mixed-Up Mind

So, I don't really have time to write in my journal tonight (mostly because it's already 2:30 am, but also because I have so many thoughts that it would probably take me forever to write them all down by hand), so I think I'll just start making my BlogSpot for drawings and thoughts.

Thought number one: I've been contemplating my job a lot lately. Sometimes I wonder, "How did I get conned into working in what is, quite possibly, the worst department of Brick Oven? So I'm a "supervisor" in the Delivery Department. Whatever that means. I don't think I do a very good job at supervising. Mostly because we are so understaffed right now that I end up having to be in the productions 110% of the time and don't have time to make sure that everyone is doing things according to systems. But, of course, I'm expected to be able to do both, while my manager waddles around being nice to people. Oh yeah, I guess I should add that I usually have to do the dirty work in the dept. For instance, if someone is carrying the pizzas wrong, or if someone is wearing nailpolish that isn't clear, or if someone isn't wearing the correct uniform, or if someone isn't answering the phones within three rings, I have to be the jerk who tells them they're "doing it wrong." Of course, I try to be nice about it, but sometimes people are just bent on making you the bad guy because you pointed out a fault of theirs. Luckily I'm a pretty straightforward person so I just tell it like it is and move on. People don't have to like me. But of course I want them to. I like to be liked, who doesn't? Anyways, so my department is pretty much the LAST department to go home every night. It's great. AND we have to do the nasty dishes. Do you have any idea of the absurd amount of dishes this restaurant goes through??? It's insane, and disgusting and most of those servers who bring their dirty dishes back will just through them wherever and run away. So I'm wondering how, when I originally applied to be a server, I got stuck in delivery doing the dirty work. Oh yeah.. maybe it's because they pay me well. Hahahaha. Well I guess they do pay me pretty well, but I had to ring some necks to get it that way! I guess I just had to get that off of my chest. I really do like my job MOST of the time. I think it's a good job for my personality, even though I am by no means a perfect supervisor, and I am definitely working on and praying to develop better supervisory skills. I just get frustrated sometimes (like tonight) when I have to work until 1:45 am because the wimpy dishwashers suddenly "got sick" along with one of the closing drivers so I was 3 or 4 men short on a record breaking sales night. Plus I had a headache. And people wonder why I'm not peachy all the time when I'm at work. I do try to be upbeat most of the time, and trust me, nights like tonight I could have been 50 times worse.

Thought number two: I love my major. The deeper I get into studying literature and writing, the more excited I get about doing this for the rest of my life. Or at least until I retire. I am finding myself fascinated with British Literature, in fact.. and I'm thinking about making that my emphasis. As to what I want to "do" with my major once I graduate.. I haven't the slightest idea. All I know is that the Lord wants me in this major... the rest, I'm sure, will come to me in His own time.

Thought number three: I am super proud of my mom. There was a period or 5 or 6 years during my preteen years that my mom went inactive in the church. Long story; don't feel like explaining right now. But anyways, she started coming back to church around my sophomore year of high school, and eventually became the ward organist and the relief society pianist, and then she was going to the temple twice a month, and then she was called to young womens over the mia maids. And JUST a couple weeks ago, she was called to be Relief Society President. Now, she's a full time mom (still has two of the four kids at home- one is still in middle school), Wife, and Teacher at a middle school, and on top of that she is RS Pres. She is probably one of the busiest people I know, and I know that she feels overwhelmed, but I personally couldn't be more proud of her. I am so honored that the Lord trusts her so much that he put her into this calling. ESPECIALLY when she is married to a non-member and after all that she has been through. The other day I was talking to her on the phone and she told me about her first RS Pres. impression by the spirit to go visit a woman in the ward. The story, although sad, was really neat. I feel very blessed to have a mother who lives her life in such a way that the spirit can speak to her so plainly. It makes me feel like I have a very long way to go. And I do have a long way to go. But when I look at how far I've come, I feel infinitely blessed and loved.

Ok I think that's all the thoughts I can handle for right now. Plus, I NEED SLEEP!!!!